DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 10 years. When we tried to have kids for the first time, we discovered I have polycystic ovary syndrome. We quit trying when the doctor visits became more than we could afford. We tried again after my husband saw a movie that moved him emotionally. Nothing came from that, so we stopped trying again.

I always assumed we’d give it a go one last time, but now my husband says he doesn’t want a kid right now and may never want one. He did say that if we wound up pregnant, he’d be fine with it. He also said he’d be terrified at first, but he’d settle into emergency mode and handle it.

Abby, I don’t know what to do. I most likely won’t get pregnant without a fertility specialist, but my husband made it clear he’s not into trying to have a baby. He’d only be fine with a baby if it “just happened.” What do I do? — EMPTY ARMS IN TEXAS

DEAR EMPTY ARMS: Your husband doesn’t sound like a man who is yearning for fatherhood. Quite the opposite. The likelihood of your “just happening” to become pregnant is nil without medical intervention. There is no compromise here. If the two of you are going to be able to stay together, you should be talking about this with a licensed counselor so you can discuss whether options other than you conceiving a baby are acceptable.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.